pass it on

My job has me traveling a lot. Sometimes I get to travel for fun, but mostly for work. My usual routine is to park at the USAirport parking lot and take the shuttle to the terminal. It's kind of a long shuttle drive so I take that time to catch up on emails or news via my BlackBerry. I'm usually so wrapped up in my own little world that I pay no attention to the passengers getting on the bus...or to my belongings.

On Wednesday, I was taking that same shuttle ride catching up on the internet. My car keys never made it to my purse. I must have sat them in my lap and quickly got on my phone. My airline was the first stop and I was in a hurry to get my bag checked. I'm riding up the escalator and I happen to look back and see a fellow passenger waiving my keys at me. I looked at him and yelled "YES!" I couldn't believe he chased me down to get me my car keys. He must have noticed me on the shuttle because I certainly hadn't noticed him. What a relief!

On the train ride from security to my gate, I saw a young couple with a 3 month old baby and a ton of luggage. They got off at the first stop and I noticed they had left a small bag. I started to yell at the gentlemen that he left something and he turned around and was able to get it off the train before the door closed. Turns out it was the baby's milk! How funny was it that I was able to "pass it on" just moments after a nice gentleman waived me down to give me my car keys.

I started thinking about how many opportunities I have missed in the past to "pass it on." And it's only looking back that I realize I missed that chance. When something nice or lucky happens, most don't think "how will I be able to pass this nice gesture or good luck on?" I hope I have many more opportunities to "pass it on" and even more so hope that I start a "pass it on" string myself.

"you should learn how to unplug"

I was working in Colorado Springs today and decided to go to Chipotle for lunch. When I go out for lunch during work it's usually alone. I'm used to eating alone and can find plenty to keep me occupied with either a book, computer, or my phones. Yes, phones...plural. I have a work phone and a personal phone. There are plenty of lunches where I'll just work straight through because as long as I have my work phone and computer I can work anywhere.

So I'm sitting there enjoying my lunch with both phones laying on the table. I had just finished checking my gmail on my personal phone and was in deep thought on how to respond to a different email just received on my work phone. Mr. Doesn't-Know-How-To-Mind-His-Own-Business decides to come up to me and say, "you should learn how to unplug," all while invading my bubble and pointing at my two phones. I'm eating alone at Chipotle! What does this guy expect me to do? Sit there and stare at my food during my entire lunch break? He probably thought he was doing me a favor by indiscreetly telling me to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile. Instead he embarrassed me. I suddenly felt everyone staring at me whispering to their lunch partners "look at that girl and her two phones!"

friends...best friends

I'm a little nervous about posting this blog...actually, very nervous. Here goes nothing.

I’m not that great at keeping friends. Mostly because I have moved around a lot and we just lose touch. But sometimes it’s because I just suck. I remember one friendship I had in high school. She was a best friend! We were complete opposites who complimented each other and it just worked. Sometime after high school we decided to be roommates. Six month later our friendship was destroyed by some disagreements and the inability to talk things out. We were horrible to each other. Most of all, I remember being horrible to her. I hadn’t quite grown up yet and was still in a pretty immature party stage. She was a single mom and had a lot of responsibility on her hands. It took six years before we were able to make up and put things behind us. We became friends again. I was even invited to her wedding and flew in from Phoenix to be there. I love her dearly now and respect her so much for all she has overcome and accomplished. She is a wonderful mother, a graduate, and has a career as a nurse. Jenny, I am so sorry for the pain I caused you ten years ago. If I could go back, there are so many things I would have done differently. Had I known what I know now, my words and actions would have been very different. I am so grateful to call you a friend now.

Fast forward a few years and you find me just finishing up college. My long time college roommate turned best friend was talked into adding a third roommate. From actions all my own, I chased out this third roommate (that’s a whole other post though). We still had about four months left on the lease and needed a third roommate quick. She and I had met on roommates.com so we put out an ad. She left the decision making up to me and I chose wrong. Way wrong! That new 3^rd roommate ended up being the devil. She and I were both so miserable with this horrible person living with us. I had an opportunity to get out and I took it. My big regret…leaving her alone with this monster of a roommate. I was able to get another trusted friend to sublet my spot so she had some protection in the home, but that does not excuse my actions of abandoning my best friend. I don’t know how she ever forgave me. We never really talked it out so I’m not sure she ever really did. Kerry, words can’t describe the regrets I have from that whole situation. Hindsight is 20/20 and I should have taken more care in choosing a housemate for us. My careless consideration put us both in jeopardy and my cowardly abandonment put a strain on our relationship and destroyed some trust you had in me. I beat myself up thinking about how I did you wrong and will spend forever trying to make it up to you. I care about you so much. I know we don’t keep in touch as much as we should, but not a day goes by that I wouldn’t call you a best friend of mine.

This whole blog entry stems from a contact I tried to make to an old best friend from middle school. She and I were inseparable! Everyone associated us together and the only thing that came between us was me moving out of state in the 8th grade. This girl has crossed my mind so many times over the past 15 years and I’ve always wondered how she ended up. I found her on Facebook and immediately added her as a friend. Turns out she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me! I was shocked. I couldn’t think of a reason why. All I could remember was that we had a falling out in the late 90’s and lost touch. But she remembers a very different story. I know my family wasn’t too fond of her and my high school boyfriend at the time had a few negative opinions of her. But I don’t remember what I did. She mentioned a few horrible words and judgmental comments that I made, but I honestly do not remember saying those things. I think if she knew who I was now that we would get along very well. I sent her a response apologizing for what I did to her and admitted to not remembering. I must have done something so unforgivable for her to react to my friend request that way. Bree, I never meant to cause you harm and sincerely apologize for hurting you the way I did. We remember our friendship very differently and I would never had tried to reach out to you had I known you didn’t want anything to do with me. My heart was in the right place when I contacted you and I never meant any trouble. Please know that my heart broke this afternoon when I realized your hatred towards me. It’s my only hope that forgiveness can be obtained somewhere down the road. Friendship is on your terms, but forgiveness is all I ask for now.

Needless to say I’ve been known to be a crappy friend. However, I don’t feel like I am that terrible of a person today. Today, I would bend over backwards for people I care about. Today, my feelings are put on hold when it comes to pleasing others and making loved ones feel good. Lessons have been learned from my past mistakes and that is why you see me as I am now. It’s hard to admit my faults and publish my mistakes to the world. I just pray that my character isn’t damaged by this post, but rather the compassion I have for others today and the acceptance I desire comes through in my blog. I have a soft conscious and nothing makes me happier than to see others happy. My friendships are important to me and I wouldn’t be alive without some of them. Thank you to those who have stuck by me through the bad times. I hope I can be the right friend and support my current friends need. I hope to never hurt anyone. I’m here for my friends. You can trust me, you can rely on me, you can ask me for help. I need my friends to get through life and I will never take you for granted. Never.

Arrogant Christian

If someone asks what religion I am, I proudly say Christian. I am not the most knowledgeable Christian in that my theology is not that strong. But from what I do understand, I believe and love and am grateful to be a follower of Christ. To me being a Christian is loving people. Putting others before yourself. Showing compassion, concern, and understanding for others' feelings and beliefs without judging, criticizing, or belittling them. There are extremist in every religion. I personally associate the word extremist with negative cogitation because the word is used so often when talking about the war on terror. However, I do not associate the blog I reference below with the war on terror.

I know a Christian extremist. Not a violent extremist, but an arrogant one. You can't argue with this individual. You can't voice your own opinion without him making you feel like you're wrong. Actually, if you were debating with him and you suddenly started to feel put down, he would simply say "well, you can't come up with anything to prove me wrong because you know that I'm right." I'll give this extremist a little credit. He's very very theologically smart. He knows a lot about the Bible and Christianity. But his extremist take on the belief is the stereotypical reason non-Christians don't like Christianity. He ends a blog post with: "You call yourself a Christian? Act like it." Well, I don't think this blog post shows love, kindness, understanding, or compassion for people. I am curious what you think...is he acting like a Christian?

Blog in reference:
http://reformant.blogspot.com/2010/09/cloud-of-ambiguity-defining-terms.html

our love

This is still a work in progress and I will update when complete. I had two years to write a love song and it finally came out of my brain.

Song: Our Love

It's a tricky thing
How my mind knows the answer
But my hearts sings a different tune
Blowing my mind in a direction
That I can't say "no" to

Oh babe, remember our love
All the good times and the great times
Forget our troubles
We've come too far
For us to stumble

Chorus:
Our love
It's gotta go
Whether it's right or it's wrong
It's gotta go somewhere
Our love
No matter which way it goes
It's gonna go
Oh it's gonna go strong

Mark from Tucson, AZ (so his name badge said)

On the way to the hotel, an interesting gentleman driving the shuttle bus proceeded to tell me and one other individual his life story and current struggles. He’s the only 30 year professional musician who moved to Nashville, but never wanted to break into the music business. He’s played everything from folk to rock. Last summer he was playing five nights a week at Yellowstone Park. He’s played PGA tournaments in Phoenix, Scottsdale, and LA. About a year ago his wife lost her career job. You see she was middle management making $60K/year and when all the companies started going bankrupt she lost her job. All these young people had come in and to do the same work for only $30K/year so they laid off all the middle management people. “So, 20 years from now when you’re making $60K/year and you lose your job to some young person…” (That’s when someone else came on the bus and he had to help them with their bags. I wonder what the rest of that sentence would have been.) He and his wife still have a home in Phoenix if anyone wants to buy a house, a nice house. Short sell even! But don’t worry about him. He and his wife work for a great hotel in Nashville, TN (Gaylord Opryland Hotel). It’s the most service oriented hotel! They even send you a survey through email right after your stay. And they want you to be honest when you answer.

I understand that the economy over the past four years has really troubled the middle class. I feel for Mark and his wife and all they have gone through. I know his age group was hit especially hard. After 20 to 25 years of experience these two were let go of the only jobs they’ve ever known. At that age it’s hard to start a new career and most times those individuals are not qualified the same way the “young people” are. I am fortunate to have a job. I was one of the “young people” that came into a company, but I most certainly did not take someone else’s job. I took an entry level position and worked my way up. In a way I was offended by his assumption that someone like myself had a job at the expense of someone like his wife. He did apologize for being a downer. I never responded to anything he said, but looked and listened as he spoke. I think that’s all he wanted was for someone to just listen. When he talked about his music career he was very proud. I believe as long as Mark gets a chance to keep playing those gigs, then he’ll be doing all right. And what better place than Nashville.

You Have A Pretty Face

You have a voice like an angel
Full of passion and pride
But your body doesn't match
Who you are inside

You're so kind and caring
Always putting others first
So why can't I see that
In what matters most

Lets go for a run or a hike
or a swim
Lets whip you in shape
Get you nice, firm, and trim

Shave a little off the thighs
And a touch off the calves
Flatten that stomach and
Cut that flab in half

Don't you want to look better
Feel healthy and fit
We'll do a boot camp
To get you started with it

Cut out the sugar, meat
And ice cream
Become the woman
I always pictured in dreams

If you don't want to change
Your body for me
I'll settle for what I've been
Forced to see

You have one thing going for you
I must say
Nice eyes and smile
You have a pretty face